{sound of static}
[announcer] Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old. Fed up with life and the way things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store.
But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart. And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
[Dr. Dre] Alright, stop! Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store and try to get money out the drawer You better think of the consequence I'm your motherfuckin conscience
[Eminem] That's nonsense! Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs And borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs Tell her you need a place to stay You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged razor blade
[Dr. Dre] Yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to The whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you Think about it before you walk in the door first Look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns
[Eminem] Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch! Can you afford to blow this shit? Are you that rich? Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch? Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?
[Dr. Dre] Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! Not over this shit Drop the biscuit Don't even listen to Slim yo, he's bad for you
{sound of static}
[announcer] Meet Stan, twenty-one years old. After meeting a young girl at a rave party, things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom. Once again, his conscience comes into play...
[Eminem] Now listen to me, while you're kissin her cheek and smearin her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink Now all you gotta do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..
Yo, look at her puss.. does it got hair? Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare Til she passes out and she forgot how she got there
No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!
Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..
{sound of static} {pickup idling, radio playing}
[announcer] Meet Grady, a twenty-nine year old construction worker. After coming home from a hard day's work, he walks in the door of his trailer park home to find his wife in bed with another man.
[Dr. Dre] Alright calm down, relax, start breathin..
[Eminem] Fuck that shit, you just caught this bitch cheatin While you at work she's with some dude tryin to get off?! FUCK slittin her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!!!
[Dr. Dre] Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?
Alright Shady, maybe he's right Grady But think about the baby before you get all crazy
[Eminem] Okay! Thought about it, still wanna stab her? Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her? That's what I did, be smart, don't be a retard You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES??!
[Dr. Dre] What'chu say? I'ma kill you motherfucker!
[Eminem] Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper! Mr. Dre? Mr. N.W.A.? Mr. AK comin' straight outta Compton y'all better make way? How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?
[Dr. Dre] Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went Been there, done that.. aw fuck it... What am I sayin? Shoot em both Grady, where's your gun at?
{gun fires, is cocked, and re-fired}
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