Too long lyrics

I waited for so long
Outside myself
You see I was pretenting
To be someone else
I was longing to see
Who i wanted to be
And I've been waiting on my own
I've been waiting for too long
Not strong enough to be with you
And I've been making up my world
I've been painting it with gold
Not strong enough to see you
I irrigate illusions
Then let them grow
How can I pacify myself?
And let go
And I run wild to see
Who I turned out to be
[...]
But it was too cold
In my world